poetry

spoken word

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Guilt

The last hope is the spark within the ignition
A premonition, these words form sharp ammunition
Traceless paper cases, lost the clip, but the pen forms a sword
And anxiety is affecting the tone from my vocal cords

Tired of beating and blaming myself
Tired of laying sleepless on a shelf screaming for help
Not knowing what to do when I reach for your hand and you leave me bruised
I’ve tried to be kind to you, but what good is there within you?

Seems sometimes it's better to leave the nest
Before one can thoroughly spread one's wings
I never learned how to fly, but I try my very best
And some things just don’t happen for nothing

But when they do, it’s not always my fault
Even though somehow it's my wounds that end up with salt
Victimized because I’m living my own dream, not anyone elses
Laying on a recessed shelf, I can’t help it, but I'm helpless

I can’t go on blaming myself because we're hurting ourselves
Pretending we've found a happy shell for our love to dwell
Even though we haven't seen each other in a while now
I'm constantly thinking of you, and that's not working out

Luck, cannot steer it, even if it’s tough to hear it we never were a close match
Always worked better with no strings attached
Keeping my back up against the wall
I’m ready for the moment when I have to take your fall

Truth be told
When I lay my head close to your heart on your barm it's just cold
You won't be able to give me any happiness in the state that you are
Perhaps that’s what pulled us apart

I held my arms open for you when things were rough
But you just consumed my sunshine until a point reality became dark and tough
Now it’s clear, the clouds are gone
Dark heaven turns blue, and birds are tweeting their songs

Seems sometimes it's better to leave the nest
I never learned how to cry, but when I fall from the sky
I think of all things I'm detesting that have coalesced
In the end, some things happen because something's died...

© Martin Ångnell 2010 - 2017