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Ordinary Love

You’re with your friends, trying to laugh during the late evening’s conversation
You once were so patient, living an ordinary love life, with no strange sensations
Something happened though, you’re now filled with tears, but you carefully hide them
It has been almost four days now, the clock’s ticking, but there once was a time when
You didn’t have to worry about who’s going to call at the late night’s end
You’re still carefully looking at the caller’s id number before answering the phone
It’s been like this since the day your emotional bag once again became your own
You had many dreams, emotions you never dared to show, but you’re now full grown
It became a very stormy relationship, so some of the dreams you once had blew away
Grew up with a whole lot to say, but your character must’ve taken a rain check, until today
Your mind’s been on repeat, inside, you know it is not healthy to dwell on things late at night
You’re convinced you could have done something, you should have seen the signs
It is like, you should have known something as beautiful must have been built on a lie
Now letting old memories flash by, remember that day, on the concrete?
You were an innocent young woman, filled with lust, hope and some naive dreams
You looked at the world with pale eyes, growing up to be a violet beautiful flower
Gently picked by a guy who seemed decent, in a world where love normally is devoured
Of course there were some happy year in the beginning, you never experienced any problems
Your friends told you about their relationship problems, but now, at last, you’ve got them
But it’s better to keep it to yourself, why talk to someone other, like you’re in need of help?
After all, you’re feeling pretty well, at least, that’s what the person in the mirror can tell
And you’re convinced the problems will go away if you just stuff them on another shelf
Your health is not the most important thing neither, better not to show signs of weakness
Especially not at your job, so the make-up is your best friend after a night of laying sleepless
That mirror in the roof seemed like a nice idea with your ex, now you just look into pale eyes
Wondering how you could look into a face, and not realize his words were just white lies
You should hear your heart now, because after the relationship there’s always silence
But there’s no sound of pounding, just thoughts of how to tame a great lion
It was love from the first sight, perhaps it ended with crying or even with violence
You were held hard, but you felt like a star, even if he held you like the belt of Orion
You knew the rules, but it’s always hard to accept the fact you were being abused
Those kind of things never happen to you, so you cover up lies with making up another truth
A closer look in the mirror reveals several scars and bruises too
Changed your number, and address, since you’re afraid he might be coming after you
Why is it so hard, to leave something, even though at night, you’re praying to god
To help you out of a relationship where you’re constantly frightened, even at your job
Knowing he’s probably there to pick you up after work, he keeps track of your money
There’s nothing funny about it, you’re just a simple slut now, and no longer his honey
You remember there used to be some dignity, but you’re also foolishly filled with pride
Left alone in the dark, there’s no escape, and his lies are your life and now your greatest lie
One minute there’s loving, presents and happiness, the second, there’s beating
No more dreaming, just death threats to keep you away from thoughts of leaving
There’s some physical abuse, you really didn’t wanted to, but don’t dare to say no
So you accept and say "Yes, let go" even though every second it goes on it hurts you so
Won’t think of the R-word, ‘cause nothing in this world can make oneself as hurt
As realising you’re worth nothing to a man that’s constantly treating you like dirt
Your friends don’t know, and you make damn sure your own mother knows nothing
You’re paranoid, avoiding bathing in public, just because people might discover something
Sitting alone in the tube, looking at other men, keep wondering if they’re all the same
Perhaps this is the way it’s supposed to be? Perhaps love’s just another word for pain?
I mean, you cannot be this unfortunate, bruised late night, so you call in sick
No, this is the way it’s supposed to be, so why bother complaining about it
It seems life is a diary on rewind, laughter in sunshine, become crying in darkness
There once was a flame, which became a fire, but now there’s a spark less
You once were desired by many, when you still were out there on the market
But, ended up looking at a picture of him wondering if he’s completely heartless
Who can tell? You better lay those questions down, and focus on yourself
After all, you’re worth the best, and the only one who can treat yourself well
Give yourself a chance, break the chains, after all, you’re not alone in your own city
Act now, help yourself, call Kvinnofridslinjen at phone number 0 twenty 5050 fifty...

© Martin Ångnell 2010 - 2017